


Saviour

by burn0utx



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: 1930s, 1940s, 5+1 Things, Captain America - Freeform, M/M, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sick Steve, Steve has a lot of issues, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, but then again so does present day Bucky, present day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9370832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burn0utx/pseuds/burn0utx
Summary: Bucky was always there through the years, always coming to Steve's aid when he needed him the most. Steve didn't even have to ask. Bucky just needed to look after him. It was like instinct. 5 times Bucky was there for Steve, and the one time Steve really needed to be there for him.





	1. Chapter 1

_Christmas Eve, 1936_

It was the first Christmas Steve would have without his mom, and boy, was he feeling it. He missed her _so much_ , but he didn’t like to talk about it often. Definitely not in public, at least. He didn’t need to give anyone anymore reasons to pick on him and cause trouble. Bucky likened Steve to his mom. Always wanting to help people, particularly the ones who really needed her. Steve tried to push back any intrusive thoughts about that being what killed her. _God_ , he missed her.   


“Hey, pal.” His best friend’s voice came, as he stepped in the front door after another long day at work. Steve was very thankful for Bucky, although he usually failed to see why such a man would bother with such a scrawny little sucker, such as himself. Steve looked up from his sketchbook and gave Bucky what he imagined would be a warming smile, but his friend saw through it straight away.   


“What’s bothering you?” He asked as he unlaced and kicked off his boots, before walking over and dropping himself down into the seat beside Steve. Steve initially sighed as a response, but he knew Bucky wouldn’t be having that.   


“It’s the first Christmas without my mom around.” Steve stated, his eyes still focused on the pencil drawing in his sketchbook. He didn’t know really where he was going with it, but just putting pencil to paper made him happy. He didn’t have to even look at Bucky to know he had that expression on his face, the one that said how sorry he was feeling for Steve. He didn’t like that one at all.   


“You’re allowed to be upset, Steve. You don’t need to hide that. God, anyone would feel totally fuckin’ awful.”   


Steve, once again, sighed in response.   


“Look,” Bucky started again. “I know it’s going to be difficult, your mom was like sunshine, she made the room light up. And I know too well about everything she would do for you at Christmas, for her special little boy,” And okay, maybe the last few words were to tease Steve, but Bucky just wanted to get a smile out of him. “I’m not your mom, Steve, but I can sure as hell still try to give you a nice Christmas.”   


And finally, Steve _did_ crack a smile, as he raised his head to look at his friend. “You know, I can always count on you.”   


“I know you can, pal. You always will be able to.”

 

The next morning, Steve woke before the sun was even properly up. He liked his early mornings. Bucky couldn’t really say the same, though, let alone when he’d had one of his nights out with a dame. Steve wasn’t all that surprised at how he’d gotten so used to the early mornings, especially considering that his friend was in his bed opposite, snoring away without a care in the world. Who would ever be able to sleep through _that_ for too long? Steve smiled to himself at the thought, before finally getting out of bed and heading for a shower, first of all. The water… Well, the water here didn’t really know what was supposed to be hot and what was supposed to be cold. They only had a small, worn down apartment, but it was home, and both Steve and Bucky had taken to it nicely. Well, maybe not so much to the shower’s dramatic temperature changes, but everything else was fine. They just had to make sure not to spend too much time in there, which was easy enough. Steve spluttered slightly as the cold water choked a gasp out of him, his eyes squeezing shut as he cringed. It didn’t take too long to get used to, but it never turned into a pleasant feeling, either. More motivation to hurry up. Steve scrubbed himself down as quickly as he could, making sure to lather up his hair while he was there, before stepping back under the water. He couldn’t tell if it had decided to actually warm up, or if he had just gotten used to the temperature a bit quicker today. Either way, he didn’t care, and as soon as he saw the last few soap bubbles wash away he was _out_ , quickly throwing a towel around his shoulders as if it were a blanket and sitting himself down on top of the closed toilet seat. That sort of shock to the system probably didn’t do his already failing health any good, but he made do. A little more than five minutes later, he was dressed for the day and out in their living room. Apparently Bucky had now risen from the dead, also.   


“Hey, champ,” He called Steve, affectionately, before picking up a couple of small presents from under their tiny, slightly withered tree. “Come on, I got a few things for you.”   


Steve smiled, and wandered over to Bucky. “You know you didn’t need to do that. It’s not important.”   


“ _Not important?_ ” Bucky questioned, his eyebrows drawing together. “You gotta be kidding! Of course it’s important, _you’re_ important. Now open them, go on!” Bucky finished his sentence by pushing the gifts into Steve’s arms and then lightly taking ahold of one of his sleeves, pulling him over to their couch and sitting them both down on it. “Go on.” He then urged.   


“Alright, alright, sheesh. Give me the chance!” Steve joked, before setting his gaze on the two wrapped gifts in his lap. Honestly, he hadn’t actually expected anything. Steve began to tear at the paper on one of them, which revealed itself to be a new set of coloured pencils. “ _Buck._ ”

“No, I don’t wanna hear it!” Bucky exclaimed. “I knew you were running out, if not empty by now. They’re basically a necessity for you, I can’t let you go without.”   


“These must have cost you a fort-” Steve wasn’t allowed to finish his sentence.   


“It doesn’t matter! Work has been kinder to me lately, I managed to pick up a few errands and I saved. I don’t want you fussing over no price tags, alright?”   


Steve breathed out a small laugh in response, _amazed_ by Bucky. Nothing new there, then. He began to take the wrapping paper off his next gift, which turned out to be a small sketchbook.   


“Buck, you do too much for me. I couldn’t even get you anything this year.” Steve’s expression soured slightly. Now he just felt guilty.   


“I don’t care about that. I got you. I know it’s been hard the last couple of months for you, with the funeral and not being well and all. I didn’t expect anything, I didn’t _want_ anything. Actually, that’s a lie. I want to see you happy and in good health. And so far, so good.”   


Steve could feel himself blushing, and decided to make a joke instead. “You treat me like a queen, Buck.”   


“You are a queen, Stevie.” Bucky replied, in all seriousness. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve was sick, again.

_June, 1937_

Steve was sick. Again. Even in the dead of summer, yes. This wasn’t a rarity, but it was always serious. Steve had so many ailments, that even if he sneezed just a bit too loudly, Bucky would come rushing over. Steve always wondered why Bucky didn’t just become a doctor, or a nurse. He didn’t like the idea of being a doctor, and one day when Steve suggested the _nurse_ part, Bucky asked him if he “thought I was a dame or somethin’.” So yeah, that didn’t go down too well with him either. Steve was independent, but he supposed he didn’t _mind_ Bucky being stuck to his side when he was sick. It was nice to have someone care for him this much. And he didn’t really have to move a single muscle. Not that he could, anyway. _Bronchitis_ , the doctor said it was. And gosh, did it hurt.  


“You should really go to the hospital.” Bucky had said, sitting on the end of Steve’s bed and offering him some water. Steve managed to get himself into a sitting position, despite feeling as if he had no strength, and gladly took the cup from Bucky’s hand.  


“No,” Steve urged, before taking a gulp of the water, and then a deep breath. He tried not to wheeze, because then Bucky would _really_ get onto him. “It looks worse than it is.”  


“Oh, really?” Bucky cocked an eyebrow at Steve. He wasn’t taking him seriously at all. “Is that why you were tossing and turning all night, groaning and spluttering away?”  


Steve had to set his cup down on the nightstand before he could choke on his drink. “It _sounds_ worse than it is.” Which he did honestly believe was true.  


“Psh,” Came Bucky’s response. “Always so stubborn, aren’t you, Rogers?” 

 

Okay, maybe it worsened a little overnight. Or at least, Steve figured he was just having a bad night. Couldn’t get comfortable. Couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t really _breathe_ all to well. And he was definitely making a racket. He was half sat up in bed, one of his arms covering his face as he coughed into his elbow and _tried_ to be quiet. But he couldn’t quite catch his breath, and of course, that only worsened the coughing. Hell, his chest felt like it was starting to burn like an actual fire was in there.  


“Steve? Steve!” The dim bedroom light came on, accompanied by the sound of a panic stricken Bucky. Steve felt Bucky’s weight beside him, and then a strong hand was flat over his back, rubbing over his thin t-shirt in small, soothing circles. “Hang on,” He heard Bucky say, before the man was gone. Steve’s coughing had managed to calm slightly, but it was still nearly constant. Bucky returned, and Steve saw that _god awful_ syrup the doctor had given to him. He pulled a face as Bucky unscrewed the cap, pouring some onto a spoon. Steve could’ve gagged.  


“Come on, Steve, it _helps_. Do I have to give it to you myself?” Bucky held the spoon out towards Steve, and he reluctantly took it. Seconds later, he’d swallowed the syrup down and this time he really did gag. He wondered if the doctor was lying and had actually given Steve poison instead. It sure felt that way. It burnt his throat and was so thick that his whole mouth felt sticky afterwards, and he had to chug down the nearby glass of water provide a little ease. Steve rubbed a hand over his chest, the coughing still coming and going, just as annoying as it was before.  


“Give it time,” Bucky said. “It ain’t no magic.”  


Steve simply rolled his eyes and threw himself back down onto his bed, making a move to pull his covers up over himself, until he found Bucky doing it himself.  


“Gee, thanks.” Steve commented, as Bucky walked out of the room with the now empty glass and the bottle of cough syrup. He heard his friend laughing as he moved away from him. Steve could get real grumpy when he wasn’t feeling good, but Bucky never took any offence. He just found amusement in it, instead. It was probably better that way. Bucky got Steve a new glass of water, and stopped to double check his list that would make Steve better. You see, he’d written down everything the doctor had recommended, and he was going to make sure Steve did _all_ of it. Bed rest, check, including making sure the windows were always open. Just as well it was summer. Steve’s favourite syrup, which always went down such a _treat_. Sunshine, some breathing exercises that he would do with Steve, and special woolen bedwear. Okay, maybe it was a little on the pricey side, but he’d do anything for Steve. Depending on how their health was, sometimes it was recommended to spend a few days down at a beach. Bucky and Steve could definitely do that together, once he had some more strength in him. Bucky would have preferred for Steve to go into hospital, especially on the first few days of this, and after seeing how badly he had suffered tonight. He could still hear the odd cough coming from their bedroom, but it sounded like Steve was finally settling. Bucky smiled to himself. That gross smelling syrup really did do something, even if only for a little while. Yeah, the beach definitely sounded like a good idea. Hopefully he would be feeling better in a week or so. Bucky looked forward to it. Bucky threw the used spoon in the sink and set the cough syrup down, before walking back to their bedroom and setting the glass of water beside Steve’s bed. He was getting more and more peaceful by the minute, and Bucky smiled before turning off the light and getting into his own bed. 

“Night, Stevie.”

Happy, healthy, beachy dreams, with lots of sandcastles and ice cream soon ensued. Bucky would make a date of it, if only it was so easy.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to do a sneaky delete because the first time around I messed up the formatting. Hopefully all good to go now!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Steve doesn't do so well, always trying to stick up for himself and other people.

_April, 1938_

Steve was always getting into fights. He couldn’t just stand around and see people being disrespected, treated unfairly, or being physically or verbally abused. He always had to speak up, which was admirable to Bucky, but it never once ended well. Steve was _tiny_. All skin and bones and bravery. If it wasn’t for his appearance, nobody would pick on him. Imagine if he was a foot taller, and another hundred pounds heavier? Not many people would try it on with him then.   


“Get up, then!” The stranger chided, as Steve tried to get to his feet after being knocked down about three times already. Steve looked a mess. He could already feel the bruises forming where the guy had grabbed his arm and then slammed his back into the wall, and he could taste blood on his lips, as well as being able to feel something warm and wet coming from his nose. More blood, he expected. Steve finally stood and stumbled forwards, wiping at his face with the back of his hand. Yep, blood. His breathing was ragged as if he’d ran a marathon, and he went to take a swing, hoping to finally get one in. Instead, he was pushed onto his knees, the gravel below surely grazing them both as he let out a small his. Steve was beginning to feel humiliated as he looked up at the stranger, trying to stand once again, only stopped by the stranger’s large hand on one of his shoulders.   


“I think you’re better off down there. Don’t you? We can call it quits.” The man had a smug tone to his voice. He smirked at Steve and then finally walked away. Steve let himself fall back against the wall again and closed his eyes. He would be okay, he just needed a few minutes to catch his breath. It’s not that he ever wanted to physically fight - it was never him who started throwing punches - he just wasn’t going to back down from one, either. Steve’s hand came up to wipe at his nose again. Geez. He didn’t know if it was coming from a cut, or actually from inside of his nose. He was annoyed that he didn’t have a handkerchief anywhere on him. Somehow, with all his aching muscles and bones, he managed to get himself up one more time, and started to trudge home. No Bucky around to save the day this time.

 

Bucky came home from work that evening and found him on the couch, spread out haphazardly with a leg dangling off the side.   


“Steve!” He pushed the door shut and went over to aid his friend. “What happened? You been fighting again?”   


“No, I was sticking up for myself.” Steve defended.   


“Jesus.” Bucky frowned, crouching down to the floor and looking up to Steve before he reached a hand out, smoothing his thumb over a cut that was high on Steve’s cheekbone. Steve winced and jerked his head back, but Bucky continued worriedly roam his eyes over him. “How bad?”   


Steve hesitated. “Not as bad as I’ve had it before.”   


Bucky let out a little huff. “Have you had a bath since you got in?”   


“No.” Steve blinked at him. He’d cleaned up the cuts he could see, but that was about it.   


“Come on, on you go, then.” Bucky stood back up, and held out his hand to help Steve up. Steve gladly took it, and Bucky pulled him up. Steve groaned at the feeling. He didn’t think it hurt this much earlier on, and he would’ve been happy to stay on the couch for the next week, but Bucky was always too stubborn. He wouldn’t let him do that.   


“Exactly,” Bucky sighed. “You need to soak your muscles. It’ll ease up the pain a bit.”   


“Yeah, if the hot water decides to work today.” Steve grunted out, as Bucky slung an arm around him and helped him towards the bathroom. He was sure he wasn’t limping like _this_ earlier on. Bucky ignored his comment and helped Steve into the bathroom, making sure he was standing still and steady before he moved away to turn on the bath taps. Steve huffed at him, leaning himself back against the wall carefully, before wincing and leaning away. He knew his back probably looked bad from his earlier impact with the wall, and Bucky had noticed his discomfort.   


“Take your shirt off.”   


Steve blushed at Bucky’s words and internally cursed at himself for his reaction. He did as he was told, though, and his fingers began to unbutton his shirt. Even that seemed to hurt, he thought. Let alone getting this shirt actually off and over his shoulders. Steve let the article of clothing drop to the floor and turned himself away, so his back was facing Bucky.   


“Sheesh.” Bucky winced. There was a _lot_ of black and blue, with the odd scrape and scratch along with it. He stepped over to Steve, his arm reaching out so he could carefully ghost his fingers down Steve’s spine. Steve tried not to shiver in response. It hurt, but that gentle gesture somehow managed to feel nice, despite the pain. Bucky felt his jaw clench, as he thought about what he would’ve done to the other guy if he’d seen him. The word ‘hospital’ came to mind.

“How much does it hurt?” He then asked. Steve shrugged his shoulders.   


“Take a wild guess.”   


“Don’t get like that with me. You know I only want to help.”   


“Yeah, I know. Can I have my bath yet?” Steve slid past Bucky, and moved to turn the water off, dipping a finger into the water. A bit cool, but not terribly cold. He just wanted to change the subject at this point. Needed to be on his own, rather.

“Are you okay getting in there by yourself?”   


Steve shrugged and felt his neck crack. Ow. “Yeah, I walked home alright. This isn’t going to be that hard.” Like he needed Bucky to see any more of him, especially _like this_. Bucky’s eyes lingered on him and Steve knew that look far too well. It was the oh-but-Steve-I-feel-bad-and-you-look-awful one. Not exactly a rarity. 

“Buck, it’s _fine_.” Steve urged. He’d live. Bucky didn’t look like he believed so. 

“Alright,” Bucky had a hint of a frown on his face. “If it hurts, sorry, if it gets _worse_ or if you need me for anything at all, just call out for me, please. I’ll be right there.”

Steve had to resist rolling his eyes. Bucky meant well, but Steve wasn’t five. 

“I’m sorry, Buck.”

Bucky paused at the doorway and turned to look over his shoulder. “Why?”

“I shouldn’t get an attitude with you,” At least Steve was honest. “I know you only ever want to help.”

Bucky smiled and Steve noted that it looked sad. 

“It’s alright, Steve. You’re alright.”

“No.” Steve blinked at him. He’d cleaned up the cuts he could see, but that was about it.  


“Come on, on you go, then.” Bucky stood back up, and held out his hand to help Steve up. Steve gladly took it, and Bucky pulled him up. Steve groaned at the feeling. He didn’t think it hurt this much earlier on, and he would’ve been happy to stay on the couch for the next week, but Bucky was always too stubborn. He wouldn’t let him do that.  


“Exactly,” Bucky sighed. “You need to soak your muscles. It’ll ease up the pain a bit.”  


“Yeah, if the hot water decides to work today.” Steve grunted out, as Bucky slung an arm around him and helped him towards the bathroom. He was sure he wasn’t limping like _this_ earlier on. Bucky ignored his comment and helped Steve into the bathroom, making sure he was standing still and steady before he moved away to turn on the bath taps. Steve huffed at him, leaning himself back against the wall carefully, before wincing and leaning away. He knew his back probably looked bad from his earlier impact with the wall, and Bucky had noticed his discomfort.  


“Take your shirt off.”  


Steve blushed at Bucky’s words and internally cursed at himself for his reaction. He did as he was told, though, and his fingers began to unbutton his shirt. Even that seemed to hurt, he thought. Let alone getting this shirt actually off and over his shoulders. Steve let the article of clothing drop to the floor and turned himself away, so his back was facing Bucky.  


“Sheesh.” Bucky winced. There was a _lot_ of black and blue, with the odd scrape and scratch along with it. He stepped over to Steve, his arm reaching out so he could carefully ghost his fingers down Steve’s spine. Steve tried not to shiver in response. It hurt, but that gentle gesture somehow managed to feel nice, despite the pain. Bucky felt his jaw clench, as he thought about what he would’ve done to the other guy if he’d seen him. The word ‘hospital’ came to mind. 

“How much does it hurt?” He then asked. Steve shrugged his shoulders.  


“Take a wild guess.”  


“Don’t get like that with me. You know I only want to help.”  


“Yeah, I know. Can I have my bath yet?” Steve slid past Bucky, and moved to turn the water off, dipping a finger into the water. A bit cool, but not terribly cold. He just wanted to change the subject at this point. Needed to be on his own.

“Are you okay getting in there by yourself?”  


Steve shrugged and felt his neck crack. Ow. “Yeah, I walked home alright. This isn’t going to be that hard.” Like he needed Bucky to see any more of him, especially _like this_. Bucky’s eyes lingered on him and Steve knew that look far too well. It was the oh-but-Steve-I-feel-bad-and-you-look-awful one. Not exactly a rarity. 

“Buck, it’s _fine_.” Steve urged. He’d live. Bucky didn’t look like he believed so. 

“Alright,” Bucky had a hint of a frown on his face. “If it hurts, sorry, if it gets _worse_ or if you need me for anything at all, just call out for me, please. I’ll be right there.”

Steve had to resist rolling his eyes. Bucky meant well, but Steve wasn’t five. 

“I’m sorry, Buck.”

Bucky paused at the doorway and turned to look over his shoulder. “Why?”

“I shouldn’t get an attitude with you,” At least Steve was honest. “I know you only ever want to help.”

Bucky smiled and Steve noted that it looked sad. 

“It’s alright, Steve. You’re alright.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> America had joined the war. All Steve wanted was to be able to join Bucky in the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'll probably add tags to this as I go along. No warnings for this one, apart from little Steve's amount of determination.

_December, 1941_

 

A war had started. A _big_ one. The kind that killed Steve’s dad, just before he was born. The thought lingered every now and then at the back of Steve’s head, but not enough to put him off wanting to join. He felt like he needed to do it, for his country. Everyone knew real bad things were going on in Europe, and that was bad enough without anybody else having to get involved. But here they were, and despite Steve’s health and just the _way he was_ , Steve was determined to join the fight. Bucky thought otherwise, but Steve, being so stubborn, never changed. So Bucky made a proposal, that Steve would come to the gym with him and he would try to train him up, make him a bit stronger and give him a bit more stamina. Maybe if he could hold his own, he would actually be allowed to join the army. Bucky had his doubts, but he also had plenty of hope for his friend. Steve’s determination was always astonishing. His courage was never ending. Steve wasn’t originally too hot on the idea of having to box and work out for days straight, but if it had a chance of helping out, then he didn’t see why he shouldn’t try. 

“Are you coming, then?” Bucky asked, all ready to go as Steve was finishing up. Bucky threw an arm around Steve’s shoulders, causing the smaller man to stumble as he balanced on one leg while trying to pull his shoe on. Bucky’s grip only tightened and Steve ended up pretty much stuck to Bucky’s side. 

“At least let me get my shoes on.” Steve protested. He heard Bucky laugh as the arm around his shoulders disappeared. 

“What, you not looking forward to it?” 

“I never said that.” Steve didn’t know how he felt, to be honest. He almost wanted to say that trying this was a little scary. What if people saw him, _the state of him_ , and he just ended up getting mocked? Although, deep down he knew Bucky wouldn’t allow that. Why was he joining the army when he could stay and be Steve’s bodyguard instead?

“Come on.” Bucky gave him a quick slap on the back before he threw open their door, waving his arm out at Steve to motion for him to go first. How many times did Steve have to explain that he wasn’t one of his _dames_? Bucky knew it annoyed him. That only encouraged him more. Steve shuffled out of the door, shoving his hands into his pockets as he heard Bucky step out behind him with a click of the door. Bucky gave him a gentle nudge with his elbow, and they were soon stepping out onto the street together, at an easy pace and side by side. They were silent for long enough, until Bucky spoke again.

“Steve, you know if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. You know there’s so many other jobs that are gonna need doing. Wars aren’t just all about fighting. That’s just the part you hear about.” 

“You mean the important part,” Steve argued. “Because that’s the part that matters. Jobs at home don’t end wars. They’ll be done either way.”

“You’re just so stubborn, aren’t you?” Bucky sighed, looking over at his friend. He just wanted to protect little Stevie with his life. He was sure that was part of the reason why he _himself_ wanted to join up. To keep any Nazi invaders away from taking over Brooklyn and his Steve. Although, Steve was determined to get to those Nazis himself, so maybe Bucky’s plan wasn’t the best. Steve didn’t reply to his “stubborn” comment, all too used to them from throughout the years. Steve had to wonder if he heard it once a day by now. It sure felt like it. 

“I know I can do it.” 

“I’m not doubting you.” 

“You might not be doubting me, but you don’t _believe_ me, Buck. You don’t think I could join the army?” 

“Hey, I never said that. You just need a little help from yours truly.” Bucky flashed Steve his cocky grin, making him laugh.

“Yeah, sure. The biggest punk in Brooklyn. Who do you think you are, the general?” 

“Hey!” Bucky gave Steve a little shove, before slinging his arm around his waist and pulling him closer. “The biggest punk and the best, is what you meant.” 

Steve chuckled, his cheeks turning a faint pink as he felt himself _lean into_ Bucky’s embrace. “If that’s what you wanna believe.” 

 

Steve lost track of the amount of push ups he had done eventually. They’d been at the gym for only around half an hour, but he was just so exhausted already. His arms hurt from where he had to keep lifting his own weight and from trying to keep up with Bucky’s own set of push ups, and he swore he probably had an asthma attack coming in at any minute. He had no idea how people could do this constantly, and Bucky wasn’t even finished with him yet. He was too tired. Bucky had jogged around the perimeter of the gym with him, had him do _twenty_ sit ups, which was what Steve thought had really done him in, judging by how his stomach felt, these push ups and now Bucky wanted Steve to actually stand up and get into it with a big ol’ punching bag. That thing was bigger than Steve. So were a lot of things he punched, or tried to. Bucky held his hand out towards Steve to help him up, whenever he would decide he was ready to stand up again. Steve stayed in his spot on the floor, panting away before he reluctantly took Bucky’s hand and was yanked up onto his feet. Bucky wasn’t being gentle _at all_ about this and Steve didn’t know how to feel about it. Giving his orders out and bossing Steve around. Not that he didn’t do that anyway, but this time he was being _serious_. Steve released a long groan when he was finally back on his feet, his limbs aching and his bones creaking all at once. 

“I’ve seen you throw enough punches to know that _you_ know how to do it, so go on.” Bucky insisted, leading Steve a short distance over to the nearest punching bag. Steve eyed it warily, before doing the same to Bucky. 

“Go on!” Bucky insisted again. Steve let out a little huff before he stepped forward and took a swing at the punching bag. How could he hit that?! The thing was rock solid. It was like hitting a giant boulder. 

“Atta boy,” Bucky teased. “Stand a bit straighter. You’re looking a little hunched. Try putting more strength into it.”

Steve let out a grunt in response, his back straightening up before he swung again, harder this time. Okay, that wasn’t so bad. Steve looked over to Bucky for confirmation and Bucky nodded in response. Steve returned his focus to the heavy bag and hit it once again, with Bucky cheering him on in the background. This wasn’t so bad. He could release some tension this way. He could feel the eyes of other strangers in the gym on him, but he didn’t care. Neither did Bucky, by the sounds of his encouragement. Steve needed to do this. Needed to learn how to fight. How to get stronger. Then in a few weeks, he could apply. He desperately wished that this would higher his chances. He just wanted to get shipped out, with Bucky. Then they could do whatever they needed to, to help out with the war. It was the one thing that Steve really wanted. To be by his best pal’s side, helping out in the world. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky likes to egg Steve on when it comes to Peggy. Steve has no idea what he's doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has a dirty mouth. Nothing too terrible, but I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable!

_August, 1943_

Peggy was a real looker. So was Buck, but Steve knew he’d never get a chance. Peggy was different. Just being with Peggy was different; normal, even. That’s what most people would say. Besides, Bucky would never look at him in that kinda way, so it was time to find himself a nice lady that he could see himself having having a _chance_ of a future with. Especially now he was all tall and muscular, and didn’t almost choke to death every time he breathed in some fresh air. Nobody seemed to pick fights with him now, either. It was definitely nicer, although he couldn’t really believe what he was seeing every time he passed a mirror. And the women, oh gosh. They paid attention to him _everywhere_. Steve didn’t enjoy that all too much. It was like he was some sort of magnet, women seemed to be attracted to him no matter what. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he was attracted to someone, based solely on looks. Good looks were just a bonus to him. Most women were pretty, while some were nice and some were cruel. Looks weren’t that important. 

Steve had to thank the serum, to be honest. Not only for transforming his body and his life, but because he finally got to join up in the war and he found Bucky again. He found him, before it was too late. That made his heart swell. He was still the same boy from Brooklyn, he just looked a lot different now. He and Bucky were still stuck to each other, and even now, Bucky was still giving him tips about women. And it _still_ managed to embarrass Steve, especially if Bucky went down a route that wasn’t so sweet. He’d tell Steve how to kiss them, _where_ to kiss them and how to touch them. Steve still went red as a beetroot, every single time without fail. Yeah, nothing had really changed at all. 

“There’s nothing better than having your hand, or your head, between a dame’s legs,” Bucky had smirked. “Apart from-”

“Buck!” Steve intervened quickly as his face grew impossibly hotter. He dropped his head into his hands. They were in a bar somewhere in England - was it even England? Steve lost track of all the countries they were darted around to - and it was just _way too_ public for this kinda thing. Like he ever wanted to hear it in private anyway!

“I’m giving you advice, Steve. I can even _show_ you what drives the girls wild.” Ever since Steve had mentioned Peggy, Bucky had really taken a liking to “giving him advice”. And okay, maybe Steve actually needed it, but it didn’t mean he actually wanted to hear it. Or _see_ it, whatever that implied. 

“It’s not like that, anyway.” Steve said, looking down at his drink. Really, it was nowhere near anything like that. He hadn’t even kissed Peggy. Didn’t even know if she really liked him at all like that, even though Bucky seemed to know because she apparently looked at Steve a certain way, or for a little too long. 

“Yeah, but you like her.” 

“So?” 

“So, why don’t you just ask her out?” 

Steve paused. “It’s not that easy.” 

“Pfft,” Bucky chuckled. “Just ask her to go dancing one night, go on.” 

“Buck,” Steve would step on her toes. “We’re in the middle of a war. It’d be real romantic to go out dancing and then have an air raid siren start going off.” 

“Hey, you never know,” Bucky shrugged. “Romance is whatever you make it out to be.”

“Yeah, you’d know a lot about that.”

“I could make it work.” Bucky flashed him a cocky grin, Steve rolled his eyes and nudged him with his elbow in response. 

“I think I’ve already heard enough about what you would do.” 

“She’s coming over, now’s your chance. Want me to give you some space?” 

“ _What?_ ” Steve looked up quickly, absentmindedly grabbing a hold of Bucky’s forearm in alarm. Boy, he wasn’t kidding. “Don’t just _leave_ me.” Steve hissed, before Bucky shrugged a shoulder at him and casually brushed his hand off of his arm. Steve stood up as Peggy drew nearer, all of Bucky’s advice suddenly ringing in his ears. He could feel his heart starting to thump and had to question if the serum was actually about to wear off.

“Peggy,” Steve breathed, before falling silent. Serum didn’t help with the girls. He swore he heard Bucky snickering from his seat, but he didn’t bother to look. Peggy arched a brow at him, before glancing between the two men. 

“Tomorrow morning, 8am sharp. We’ll be heading into France. Don’t be late.” Peggy gave her orders, but Steve wasn’t done here yet. 

“Mind if I get you a drink?” He asked, surprised he didn’t stutter or fall over his words. Bucky choked on his drink beside him, causing both Steve and Peggy to look over at him. 

“I’m alright, don’t mind me.” Bucky said, waving a hand in the air nonchalantly before he stood up, a small smile on his lips as he began to walk away from the pair. “I’ll give you two some space.” 

Steve almost winced. Peggy acted like she hadn’t even heard him.

“I think I’d like that,” She responded to Steve’s question. “I’ll have what you’re having.” 

Steve raised his eyebrows. Bucky had bought him a whiskey on the rocks. Dames didn’t drink that sorta thing, he didn’t think. Still, Peggy had a certainty about her gaze and he wasn’t going to argue with a dame. Steve took a few short strides over towards the bar, ordering the drinks for the two of them. Wasn’t this stuff meant to be rationed, anyway? The bartender was quick, but even in Steve’s short wait his mind began to wander. Maybe Bucky had set Peggy up. Peggy wouldn’t do that though, would she? She took orders from very few. Steve doubted she would listen to Bucky, but Bucky was such a charmer. He seemed to be able to charm his way into almost anything. Then the paranoia kicked in. What if it was a joke? Steve frowned to himself. That was the least likely situation. Now what was he supposed to do? He wasn’t going to stick his hand _anywhere_ despite what Bucky had said earlier on. And now, there was no time for dancing, if they were being shipped out in the morning. Steve didn’t know when he’d ever get a chance to ask now, not knowing exactly where he was going, what he was going to do, _who_ he was going to have to fight next. 

“Steve?” Peggy’s voice knocked him from his thoughts and Steve found himself now stood in front of their table, with a drink in each hand. 

“I-” He didn’t know what to say. _What an idiot._ “Sorry. I got a little caught up.” He offered an apologetic smile, setting the drinks down and returning to his previous seat. 

“Understandable,” Peggy spoke. Well, they were in the middle of a war. She eyed him up. “You’re not having any worries about tomorrow, are you?”

“No, no. Not at all,” Steve was quick to speak. That wasn’t an issue at all. You know what, he was going to go for it. “Peggy, when all this is over with - would I be able to take you out dancing?” 

And wow, Peggy Carter actually looked _shocked_ by Steve Rogers. It took her a few seconds, but she finally smiled at Steve. This was the guy who had confessed to her about how he felt like he needed to wait for the right partner. Peggy honestly felt flattered.

“Actually, I would love to.” 

And then Steve remembered that he didn’t know how to dance at all, not even the smallest amount, and so he would actually be willingly asking Bucky for advice on _that_ now. Which he knew would get rubbed in his face, but he didn’t really care. Bucky would help him out, either way. Now they just had to win the damn war. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's best to be cautious around Bucky. Steve throws caution to the wind most of the time.

_Summer, 2016_

Steve couldn’t be happier, as he opened his eyes early one morning. He was curled up in bed, with a warm back pressed against his chest and a mess of dark brown hair in his face. A soft smile grew on his lips and he allowed his head to dip forwards, until his face was buried into the hair in front of him. Everything was _perfect_. It turns out that when he came out of the ice, he wasn’t the only one left at all. In fact, his best friend was still here. Steve still felt guilty about the time that Bucky fell from the train and he sometimes felt these pangs of anger that he hadn’t done more to save him. That way, Hydra wouldn’t have gotten to him. His Bucky would be the Bucky he used to know, not a pumped up, paranoid version. Though, he wasn’t going to complain too much. Bucky was coming back to him, slowly. Obviously, he had some very severe PTSD - Steve wondered if you could even call it that at this level - but he had learned that Sam had a good way of getting to Bucky, to help him. His two best pals got along, old and new. It was great. And _now_ , nobody cared if you loved another man. Well, there were a select few, but Steve felt like the positive voices outweighed the negative. Fuck those guys, as Bucky would have said. He chuckled to himself and tightened his arms around the sleeping, still body in front of him. Next thing he knew, he was flat on his back with a cold hand around his neck.

“Bucky!” He yelled, his eyes wide as he looked up at the man on top of him. “It’s me, it’s _Steve_ -” He paused as he tried to catch a breath, his fingers now fisting into bunches in the sheets as he tried not to startle Bucky any further. This wasn’t regular, but it wasn’t exactly the first time it had happened, either. Any sudden movements, he had learned, didn’t end too well on his side of things. 

“It’s alright, you’re home.” Steve tried to steady his voice, slowly taking one of his hands away from the bed sheets so he could carefully wrap his fingers around the cold metal of Bucky’s wrist. He couldn’t read the expression on Bucky’s face and that was always something that caused panic to set in within seconds for Steve. All he could think about was _what if he ran?, what if this was it, the time that he didn’t snap out of it?, he could leap out of a window and be gone within seconds_. Was tachycardia a thing, even with super serum? Because it sure as hell felt like that was something they didn’t get rid of. Steve heard a whirring sound coming from Bucky’s arm, before his grip relaxed and he yanked his arm back. Steve’s hands rose up to his own face and he rubbed his hands over it, taking a long, deep breath at the same time. 

“Steve.” 

He looked up and he swore he felt his heartbreaking. All that regret on Bucky’s face, he just looked so mortified. 

“Hey,” Steve set his hands against the mattress so he could push himself into as much of a sitting position as possible, with Bucky’s weight still on top of him. “Are you okay?”

“I-” Bucky still had that expression on his face, before he looked towards his metal arm and frowned. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” Steve spoke softly. He knew this was something he was going to have to deal with, even if Bucky’s startled actions often took him by surprise. He was only acting in defence. “Are you okay?” He urged once more. 

“I’m…” Bucky paused. “Yeah, I think I’m good.” The look of guilt was another one that killed Steve.

“It’s okay, honestly,” Steve tried to reassure him. “I understand, Buck. Besides, I startled you. I should know by now.” 

Bucky released a long sigh, before flopping back down onto the mattress and turning on his side, so that he was facing away from Steve. Steve’s mouth drew into a tight, flat line. _Look what you’ve done_. 

“Do you want to talk about it at all?” Steve asked him. 

“No, I just… I got a surprise. I don’t know, something got ticked off in my mind. I didn’t even really notice that I’d done it.” Bucky had a sad frown on his face. Luckily Steve wasn’t able to see. 

They both stayed in silence after that, both of their minds turning. Steve turned his head to look over at the back of Bucky. 

“Can I try again?” 

He thought he saw Bucky’s muscles stiffen up before relaxing again, but then he eventually heard a small “sure” coming from him. A small, one sided smile formed on Steve’s lips and he laid himself back down again, back onto his side, before scooting closer to Bucky. He was going to take it a little more carefully this time, even though Bucky was already aware. Slowly, he snaked his arms around the other man and then let them tighten around his middle, returning to their previous position as Steve dropped his head against Bucky’s shoulder. He couldn’t explain how much _glee_ little things like this filled him with. He was so thankful. _So_ much. Steve interlocked his fingers in front of Bucky and felt a familiar pair of hands then come to rest on top of his. He let out a content sigh and allowed his eyes to close as he felt Bucky relax with him. Perfect. Total silence and complete serenity. Steve actually was starting to fall asleep again, until he felt Bucky stirring beside him, and he peeled open his eyes again to find them both face to face. 

“No, you can go back to sleep. You need it.” 

“Buck,” Steve laughed quietly. “You don’t need to look after me anymore. I ain’t that scrawny kid from Brooklyn anymore.” 

“You are to me.” 

Steve groaned in response but he couldn’t hide his grin. “I’m supposed to be looking after you now, remember? I’m supposed to help you.”

“I know. And you do. You help me every single day. Just being around you makes me feel calmer. I feel… protected.” 

And oh boy, did Steve’s face up light up at that. He felt _honoured_. Bucky could tell, judging by the wide smile on his face.

“The memories that come to me the easiest, are the ones involving you.” 

Steve felt his heart swell. Oh god, how was he so lucky? He loved this man with every single cell in his body. Who would’ve thought, him and Bucky, together still at almost 100 years old. And they didn’t even look a day over 30! 

“You make me feel alive, Stevie.” 

Steve couldn’t even speak. Bucky was making him blush and he was so caught off by such kind words that he didn’t know what to do. Steve actually _giggled_ and he heard Bucky laugh in response. 

“Even with all this muscle,” Bucky paused, his right hand coming up to squeeze one of Steve’s biceps. “You’re still totally adorable.” 

“Buuuck!” Steve drew the name out as he whined. “Knock it off, will you? I’ve gotta get up, I’m hungry.” It wasn’t a lie. Steve’s metabolism was pretty wild. 

“Yeah, yeah, buncha excuses.” Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and snuggled even closer, slinging a leg up to rest over Steve’s. Two super soldiers, weighing each other down like anchors. Another smile graced Steve’s lips and he drew one of his arms back from around Bucky, reaching his hand up so he could gently slide his fingers into Bucky’s hair. Steve thought he heard Bucky purr in response and noticed the older man nuzzling slightly into his hand. Okay, yeah, he was really hungry, but staying here a while longer sounded better. 

“Hey, Buck?” 

“Yeah, Stevie?” 

Steve could remember the years when that pet name would embarrass him, when he would try to ignore it. He was sure that Bucky always knew that he secretly loved it, though. Just now, Steve didn’t hide that. What was the point? Of course he never expected to get another chance with his best friend, so he was going to make the most of the time they had together now, for however long that may be. God knew either of them never expected to be alive _today_ , Steve especially. 

“I love you.” Steve said. 

“I know,” Bucky’s smile widened. “And I love you too.” 

“I know you do,” Steve returned. “And I’ll be here for you, always. No matter what.” 

This was how it was meant to be. Having each other’s backs. Steve being there through Bucky’s triggers and nightmares. Bucky always being there to make Steve feel on top of the world. It was pure perfection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weird to think that Civil War is my fav Cap movie and I haven't included it in any of my little fics. Anyway, that's this all wrapped up! Hopefully they live happily ever after.


End file.
